Child Abuse

So I'm in public and some kid is "acting up" and the parents just look like, "Oh, gosh, this is so embarrassing, but what can we do, kids are just monsters sometimes."

I want to slap the parents and say, "Kids don't get the way they do on accident. If you took care of this at home you wouldn't have to take care of it in public. If you're 'paddling their canoe' in private at home they take the lesson with them in public."

I was seldom spanked in public (seldom needed to be in public). Public spankings seem to me to be more shameful (to the child) than a private one. If kids are spanked (NOT "beaten") at home, they know that what happens has consequences ... and even if the parent (for whatever reason, their own embarrassment or the desire not to shame the kid) doesn't whack them in public, they DAMN sure will in private, so the kid, smarter than most people give kids credit for, will know that delayed spanking is no easier than immediate spanking ... so they avoid spankable offense in public as well.

Big factor: kids should never, EVER be spanked because the parent is angry, or the kid made an "honest mistake." If a kid spills something without meaning to, spanking is stupid. If the kid was TOLD to move the glass away from the edge of the table, but didn't do it, and THEN there was a spill ... SWAT! Disobedience, and lying ... only justifications for spanking. Errors ... hey, we all make them.

Because most parents use spanking as (A) a last resort after negotiations have failed, and (B) a means to make themselves feel better because they're pissed, spankings become beatings and either terrify the kid into adult problems, or piss the kid off into adult problems. If spanking (not beating) only as a sort of "vitamin" or even a "bandage" (that's the attitude ... help the kid learn from "muscle memory" that what they did is a problem they don't want to carry into adulthood with them ... that they should listen to, heed, and learn from parental direction), then the child knows damn good and well they "deserve" it, and will really think about things ahead and try to avoid it in the future.

And when the idea is to "train" the child, not avenge yourself on them, then the child is not traumatized ... or BEATEN by a parent (or "adult care giver"). Invest a little controlled, intentional, thoughtful spanking early, and spankings (or psy-ops) are not needed much as they get older. Case in point: my niece. My sister "invested" early in spankings, and as my niece got older she stopped NEEDING the spankings. At an early point all my sister (or I) had to do was give the "Do you really WANT a spanking?" look and she would reconsider her attitude and actions ... and straighten up.